On The Giving of Thanks

So the only reason I didn't say this last week is that it's taken me a minute to come down from this season of Giving Thanks.

After spending the entire prior week with my family in a way I haven't done with them in nearly 15 years the warm and fuzzy feelings just kept coming.

Clay Lamps for the Hindu Fall/Winter Holiday of Diwali
Source: Creative Commons

Getting to cozy up to my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and siblings for a few days to celebrate a wedding was more heart filling than I could have imagined.

There were many moments and still this might give you an idea.

I was all by myself on a dance floor of children when my Dad tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to dance.

He then proceeded to take my Mama and my sister for a spin too.

And there was lots and lots of love. My smiled filled my face.

After a few days with some goddess friends' of mine in San Francisco I went to Seattle for a tick.

There I had the best meals I've had in years most of them with my friend Greg. The home cooked loving goodness in his house spilled out into the restaurants we chose to visit too. It was the company and the familiarity that did the trick. I got to eat and eat and laugh and laugh and that felt so very good.

I came back home to Portland and soon was enjoying The Muppet Movie on it's opening day. Which, of course, made me feel even better about feeling so good.

Then there was a Thanksgiving dinner for the record books. My friend Nessa sets a beautiful and deliciously warm table.

That food, booze and revelry were so good the bar has been set sky high for this Champagne Season.

Since then I've been celebrating.

Celebrating my good fortunes, the things that are just as I always dreamed them and all the things that are soon to be.

I mean Christmas is coming right?

When I know that the next fabulous step in my dreams coming true sits waiting for me all gussied up in paper and ribbons (for the surprise's sake) how could I not be bursting.

And then there's still New Year's to come after all that?

What?

So far I've sang, I've danced, I've held happy healthy babies, I've had meals I can barely describe, I've seen dear old friends and made a great many new ones. And don't get me started on those dreams come true.

It will suffice to say that I have kissed them all.

10,000 Monks Praying

So now I only ask that every day from here to that new year be an amber hazed, champagne bubbled, gift wrapped, fire cracker of potential, filled with your own excitement.

Oh beautiful Life, cheers and thank you.

Full Man Strength

Having written quite a few times on the subject of adulthood and when it actually 'begins' in ones life. I am finding  that the differing opinions on the answer have something to do with a difference of experience.

I know twenty somethings that are convinced they are there and have always been there. (Personally, I recall that I felt the same way when I was twenty something so...)

I know thirty somethings that are so relieved they aren't where they were because here feels so much more nearly there, it's amazing.

For every ten years more in age I hear another level of 'boy, sure are a few things I know now that I sure could have used then.'

These things I hear from both men and women and yet lately I've been hearing it from you guys more often.

This matter of perspective phenomenon stayed on my mind while reading the book The Way of the Superior Man  by David Deida.

(Click here to read my review)

In those pages Mr. Deida does a superb job honing in on the soft spots and awkward edges of boyhood that many of you will be able to relate to. Looking for where there is room for improvement is how David plays the friend.

Willing to listen and honestly reflect you back to you.

Being told 'All Women Are Not Liars' or to ' Live as if your Father is Dead' (actual chapter titles) help to release the holding posture of protection around the soft spots through simply acknowledging their existence.

Somehow giving that inner boy an opportunity to seek relief from the tender ache of his fears can transform them into a strong and pliable Source. Rendering him a Man capable of providing deep, long lasting, sensual pleasure to his whole world.

Those rough edges get some attention too. Chapters like 'Own Your Darkest Desire',' She wants the "Killer" in You' or 'Enjoy Your Friends Criticism' asks whether you are ready and willing to take yourself to the grindstone that is being a Man.

I have posited before that becoming a fully grown being in this world has lots to do with fully owning ones sexual essence and all the ways it informs the story of our lives. I also am coming to believe that once we have settled all that we can get on with the compelling work of creating our next beginning.

As Mr. Deida said in his preface to the 2nd edition of the book:

When you have mastered the challenges of women, work and sexual desire be willing to forget you were ever born. Eventually - and I'm telling you in advance, just like I was told - the way of the Superior Man renders obsolete everything that can be known or experienced. 

My experience with men of all ages tells me that as ya'll grow up you appear to get this evolution of purpose from an 'I know just what you mean' sort of place.

How do you know when you've reached (as I love to call it) your full man strength?

Do you feel already honed into that strong and polished gem that is your gift to the world?

Are you wondering if you ever will?

Book Review: The Way of The Superior Man

The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire by David Deida

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Hey guys I let you know now that David Deida does a bang up job as your new best friend.

Giving men an opportunity to be heard, affirmed and admonished by one of their peers. Giving them the sort of challenge that only another man can pose.

His blunt simplicity in tackling the real issues men face when moving into their 'full man strength' - as my girlfriends and I call it - is as educational as it is entertaining.

And just when you are comfortable with this book as an Oprah-era self help tome, all neat and tidy for prime time, Mr. Deida hits you with a raw sensuality and Taoist connectivity that finds you with your hand down your pants (or up your skirt, as it was in my case.)

And in order to unlock the Heart of every matter along the way he paints lines of prose with Haffizian precision. You learn to leave it open, even if sometimes it hurts.

Gentlemen, be prepared. Completing the challenges posed by this book may have you feeling beyond all grown up.

View all my reviews