Through listening intently to the Voice of Our Mothers I found some fabulous and relieving news.
That the things their stories of love, loss, relationships, sex and commitment were attempting to relate, (their wisdom and knowledge) all reside within me. My Heart (the one recently liberated from its fortress) knew every bit of this precious information. I needed only to remember.
Remember what?
Remember that the way to having the life I want (including the romantic relationship I desire) is to simply be the woman that I want to see in that relationship.
Even if my first attempts and plans for adulthood ended as adolescent disasters, even if I am living in a house full of twenty to thirty year old single as the day is long adults, even if I've got big plans for my professional life now and into the future, even if I am scared to death, this is what I must do.
No matter what my current external reality is, I must become a Wife, I must be her now.
How?
Well, my aversion to true partnership with another came from fear of losing something I hadn't had a firm grasp on... me.
What did my naive heart know then that I managed to lose sight of?
That I was so very blessed by being a Woman... that I have access to a dynamic sun like energy, radiating beauty wherever I step... that the strength of my ancestry is legendary... that my Heart is so infinitely large she can see the future in the present moment... that I can experience so many small deaths in a life time that the big one looks promising, even from here.
I was also so very blessed by the opportunity to live life as a full fledged member of the Human race... that all I could ever need is right here, right now... that my Feminine side can receive (from all the fantastic men on the planet) strength, honor, simplicity and humor... that my Masculine side can give (from the deep love of all women) softness, grace, being and ecstasy in ever increasing amounts.
Remembering these things means that I can now be me. Just me and that can be better than good enough. As my brother always said, "Not just good, Golden."
I am now an adult human being, free to do what I will, having adult relationships.
I allow for my Truth by wearing my heart on my sleeve (thank you all for listening.) I allow for sharing without a tally sheet, living Life as a team sport. I allow others the gift of giving through receiving openly. I allow for tears and softness in myself and everyone I meet. I allow for ambition, genius and creativity for myself and others too. I allow for co-creation in Life and all its infinite productions.
If that's not being a Wife, I really don't want to know what is.
Until next time...
